Sausage Sizzle!

The sausage sizzle is a venerable Australian tradition. It is a staple of community fundraisers across the country. Whether it is the local sports team, fire brigade or interest society barbecuing sausages and onions; its product and purpose is universally understood.

Recently a Brisbane man has ‘completed‘ his search for Brisbane’s best chicken parmigiana, a pub food staple. He ate a chicken parma at a different pub each week for a year, and wrote a review for each.

Maybe I should do the same for sausage sizzles!

They’re not hard to find. It’s a safe bet that every weekend nearly every Bunnings Warehouse (and some other hardware stores) will have a sausage sizzle running; it’s part of their efforts to support local communities. Extend that to community events, and that’s potentially lots of sausages each month!

But why Ben? Why spend time and energy reviewing $2.50 food? Well firstly, thanks to reality television, everyone seems to be obsessed with food and its nuances. So reviewing sausage sizzles won’t be out of place in today’s discourse. Secondly, like almost every other aspect of life, there’s no such thing as a free lunch (pardon the food pun). If a community group consistently serves up bad sausage sizzles, why should they deserve our money? If a business neglects its customers, then it goes out of business. The same standard should apply to those who want our money for good causes.

But a sausage sizzle is just bread, sausage and onions! How much can you say about this delicacy?


Bread: One slice of white bread or two? Or have they gone fancy and given us a hot dog bun or bread roll? Or (on one occasion) brown bread?!
Sausage: How’s the taste? Served not cold? Also, is it served intact or cut in half?
Onions: Are they golden brown? How generous are they with the onions?
Sauces: What is provided? Tomato and barbeque are compulsory. Other choices are appreciated.
Price: Very important. As of 2016, anything more than $2.5 for the sausage sizzle and $1.5 for a can of drink is frowned upon.
Community group/cause: Who will receive the proceeds of the sausage sizzle? Be specific, because only saying “to charity” leads to suspicion and will be frowned upon.

Well, I’d better get started!

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